“Might be,” I respond. “How much for a dozen?”
“I’m looking for 50 sats, give or take” he says.
Oh boy; the Fed frowns upon using unsanctioned currency!
“I don’t have sats. How many dollars?”
“Sorry, dollars are too risky. I’m not a licensed merchant. Too many questions from the Fed; they’re just looking for an excuse to rug pull me. Even if they don’t, I can’t afford the 20% peer-to-peer tax they’ll take from the transaction. Bitcoin’s better; it’s not subject to central bank bullshit.”
I turn away to consider my options; I bet FedGov would be interested to know about this tax evader… but my iGlasses suddenly show an alert, outlining the face of a woman who has just walked by.
A message scrolls across my field of view:
“WARRANT ISSUED: $50,000 REWARD.
“Carla Jennings is wanted by the Fed for engaging in black market exchange.”
My pulse quickens. This much money would provide some financial cushion and might even be enough for a security deposit on a pod with a full kitchen. Best not to think too hard about the philosophical quandary; while Carla has not caused me direct harm, she is working against the public good by selfishly ignoring the directives of the Fed.
“Accept gig,” I reply with a sigh.
“Ma’am, I’m sorry but I need you to come with me,” I say as I fish a few zip ties out of my pocket. She bolts.
“Stop right there!” I yell, taking up pursuit. She is faster than me because I avoid stepping on FedGov sidewalks; every step gets logged and microtransaction tolls are deducted from your Fed account in realtime.
As I’m about to lose sight of my quarry, I do some quick mental math and decide that the toll expense is worth the potential reward. I finally catch up and tackle her on Market Street. I look around to see if anyone is in earshot.
“Give it up,” I whisper.
“Fuck you,” she spits back. I have to take control of the situation, so I slip the zip ties around her wrists. She lets out a furious cry as I search her belongings.
“What have we here?” I exclaim as I pull a thumb-sized circuit board out of her purse.
“Please, don’t. Those are my only savings that are safe from the Fed!”
“Bitcoin, huh? I sure could have used some sats earlier. Alas, the Feds already know I’ve detained you. Agents will be here momentarily. They’re going to force you to unlock this unauthorized wallet.”
I can see the panic in her eyes — she knows what would happen if the Feds can’t access her private keys. Years of labor in the data mines for her to pay off the fines. Oh, the irony.
But I have to stay strong for our struggling economy; little else matters to the Fed but stomping out sound money in these tough times. Despite it being against my own self interest, I have little choice but to keep accepting missions to crack down on cryptocurrency so that it can be removed from circulation.
Muttering to myself, I turn Carla over to the Fed agents and see the bounty credited to my account. She sobs and struggles as they haul her away. Yet I steel myself and imagine the suffering that can occur when society tries to operate without a stable, centralized financial system. We’re all in this together; there’s no place for selfishness.
While walking home along a convoluted path to avoid as many FedGov sidewalks as possible, I reflect upon how the world has changed over the decades. It is hard to believe that this area once was the cradle of the Cypherpunk movement that spawned cryptocurrency and strong anti-Fed sentiments.
The winds of change left those ideals behind, and FedGov loyalists now control every aspect of society. Privacy and sovereignty are nothing but a distant memory. FedGov has an anti-privacy mandate, outlawing all software and hardware that facilitates cryptocurrency and secure messaging. Even those who still cling to the past find it difficult to evade being tracked by the dense mesh of sensors embedded in every tech product, every store, every home, every street.
Today’s gig isn’t life changing but it will at least allow me to afford some new clothes. I’ll have to be happy with daydreaming that my federal lottery ticket will win this month and my universal basic income will get upgraded to individual comfort plus income…
This is a guest post by Jameson Lopp. Opinions expressed are entirely their own and do not necessarily reflect those of BTC Inc or Bitcoin Magazine.
